I’m writing this after a very long 48 hours, for reasons yet unknown we have all been the grumpiest, tantrumiest, meanest, rudest, stampy-feety, ‘where have my children gone?’ EVER!
It’s at these times I am shocked by the sheer exhaustion and hard-work of parenting. That I can be brought to tears by a five year old still amazes and embarrasses me, not least because I see myself as a very capable, patient person – I work in Mental Health discussing extraordinarily difficult topics with often very poorly people and manage to keep professional and have never yet yelled… but at home I can be brought to the worst behaviour of my life in seconds – I’m a work in progress I guess.
What I start to wonder is that I truly wished for this. What was I thinking? There used to be lie-ins, weekends in Paris, expensive jewellery and facials. There are times when I question the trade in!
I have managed to curb the yelling (mostly), which I’m relieved about and I’m currently working on the ‘setting a good example’ idea. My new mantra is – I’m the adult here – it’s working so far… It’s truly incredible how many buttons I appear to have that my kids can press so easily. We all have pet peeves, as I’m sure they do as well, so it’s a joint mission. I’m also working on not bearing grudges, this is not my strong suit generally in life but a complete necessity in parenting.
So, we shall see what the next 48 hours holds, the school run this morning was smooth (ish) and after school Craft Club should have proved fun… just swimming to tackle and then break out the chocolate either in triumph or despair… And then I remember that I asked for this, that I really absolutely LOVE this, that the joy of parenting is in those magical moments when they take your breath away with their beautiful thoughts, caring acts, mastery of a task, cuddle or uncomplicated views of the world. I wanted this and I wouldn’t change it for anything (except maybe… no, not for anything!)
Deep breath x